Dr. Kaushik Sridhar

Your Circle or Your Cage? The Power of Choosing the Right People Around You

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“If you look at the people in your circle and don’t feel inspired, you don’t have a circle; you have a cage.” This quote speaks to a timeless truth: the people you surround yourself with either lift you up or hold you down. Our relationships are not neutral; they shape our mindset, influence our decisions, and ultimately impact the trajectory of our lives.

Circles vs. Cages

At first glance, a circle represents safety, unity, and belonging. A cage, by contrast, suggests confinement, limitation, and stagnation. The difference between the two often lies not in their shape, but in the energy of the people within them. A genuine circle inspires growth, creativity, and courage. A cage, however, traps you in patterns of negativity, complacency, or fear.

It’s worth asking: when you spend time with your closest friends, colleagues, or even family members, do you walk away feeling motivated and full of possibility? Or do you feel drained, second-guessing your ambitions, and burdened by doubt?

The Influence of Your Inner Circle

Psychologists and leadership experts often talk about the “social contagion effect”: emotions, habits, and even levels of ambition are contagious. If your circle values learning, you’re more likely to keep stretching yourself. If they value health, you’ll be nudged toward better choices. Conversely, if negativity, gossip, or mediocrity dominate, you’ll slowly absorb those traits without even noticing.

Consider professional athletes: they often credit not just their talent, but the team around them—coaches, trainers, and peers who push them to be better. Entrepreneurs, too, often say that success is as much about their network as their own drive. In short, who you walk with determines how far you’ll go.

Signs Your Circle Might Be a Cage

  1. Lack of Encouragement: If your wins are met with indifference or jealousy, your circle may be stifling your growth.

  2. Comfort Over Challenge: If no one pushes you beyond your comfort zone, you’re likely stagnating.

  3. Negativity as the Norm: Constant complaining, criticism, or cynicism can erode even the strongest motivation.

  4. Absence of Shared Growth: If you’re the only one striving to improve, you may eventually feel isolated in your ambition.

Building an Inspiring Circle

Transforming your circle into a source of inspiration requires intentionality. Here are some steps to consider:

  1. Audit Your Relationships: Reflect on how you feel after spending time with each person. Energised or depleted? Encouraged or diminished? This honest assessment is the first step.

  2. Seek Out Growth-Minded People: Join groups, communities, or networks where learning and ambition are the norm. Whether it’s a professional association, a creative workshop, or a volunteer initiative, look for people who share your values and goals.

  3. Nurture Mutual Inspiration: Inspiration isn’t one-directional. To create a true circle, you must also uplift others. Share knowledge, celebrate achievements, and challenge each other to grow.

  4. Set Boundaries with Energy-Drainers: Not every relationship has to end, but some need boundaries. Protect your mental space by limiting time with those who consistently pull you down.

Courage to Outgrow

One of the hardest truths about this quote is that sometimes your cage is made of people you love—longtime friends, family, or colleagues. Outgrowing relationships can feel disloyal, but staying in them when they limit you is a disservice to your potential. Growth often requires courage: courage to distance yourself, courage to seek new circles, and courage to prioritise your future over your comfort.

This doesn’t mean abandoning people, but rather recognising which relationships are healthy and which are not. Just as a plant can only grow in the right soil, you need an environment that nourishes your purpose.

From Cage to Circle: A Story of Transformation

Imagine someone stuck in a group where ambition is ridiculed and risk-taking is discouraged. Every time they share a new idea, they’re told, “That’s unrealistic.” Over time, their confidence dwindles. Then, they shift into a new circle—mentors who encourage experimentation, peers who celebrate wins, and friends who see potential rather than limitations. Suddenly, what once felt impossible becomes achievable. That is the difference between a cage and a circle.

The Ripple Effect of Inspiration

When you cultivate a circle of inspiration, the impact extends beyond you. Your energy, actions, and successes ripple outward, encouraging others. Inspiration multiplies. A strong circle doesn’t just change individual lives—it shapes families, organisations, and communities.

Conclusion: Choose Your Circle Wisely

Your circle is your mirror, reflecting back what you accept, what you value, and what you believe you deserve. If that reflection doesn’t inspire you, it’s time to make changes. The choice is simple yet profound: do you want to live in a circle that nurtures growth, or remain confined in a cage that limits it?

Surround yourself with people who challenge you, celebrate you, and believe in you. Because in the end, your circle will either become the wind beneath your wings—or the bars of your cage.

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