The more you shine, the more you’ll be seen. And the more you’re seen, the more you’ll be judged.
This is one of life’s great paradoxes: when your light gets brighter, it doesn’t just illuminate your path — it casts shadows too. Not everyone will celebrate your glow. Some will envy it. Some will resent it. Some will try to extinguish it. But if you pay close attention, you’ll also see a rare few stepping closer — quietly, humbly — carrying their own candle, drawn not by competition but connection.
These are your people. Your real tribe. And knowing the difference is everything.
The Fire That Made Me
I didn’t grow up in a world that made it easy to dream. Success wasn’t handed to me. I had to fight for it — through adversity, self-doubt, racial bias, rejection, and isolation. But I always carried a fire inside me. A drive to do more, be more, give more. To serve, to create, to lead.
And as that fire grew — through hard work, education, corporate wins, and personal transformation — something else grew alongside it: jealousy.
People I once called friends began to disappear. Not because I’d changed, but because I’d stopped playing small. I started to notice the subtle digs, the undermining comments, the withheld congratulations. Success, I realised, doesn’t just elevate you — it exposes others’ insecurities. And some people will interpret your growth as a threat to their own stagnation.
I used to shrink myself to make others comfortable. I’d soften my wins, make myself smaller in rooms where I felt the temperature drop. But eventually I realised: dimming your light doesn’t protect you — it betrays you.
Flame Blowers and Candle Bearers
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who see your light and try to blow it out — and those who walk toward it with a candle in hand.
The first group feels threatened by your fire. They’ll question your motives, downplay your achievements, and whisper behind your back. Their commentary is often masked in concern or false humility. But make no mistake: they are energy thieves, flame dampeners. And if you’re not careful, they’ll convince you to doubt your worth.
The second group is rarer, but far more powerful. They don’t just support you — they see you. They honour your flame and protect it, and in doing so, they offer a piece of their own. These people celebrate you when you’re not in the room. They correct you with love, challenge you with respect, and stand by you not because you’re perfect — but because your vision aligns with theirs.
How I Found My True Tribe
It took me years — and more than a few heartbreaks — to learn that not everyone clapping is cheering for you. And not everyone silent is against you. You find your tribe not by who flatters you when things are easy, but by who stays close when things get hard. When the awards fade, the applause quiets, and all that’s left is who’s still in your corner.
I began to notice something: the ones who brought candles were rarely the loudest. They didn’t need attention — they were busy building, healing, learning, rising. They knew what it meant to be doubted, dismissed, or misjudged. They recognised the fire because they had walked through it too.
And slowly, I let go of the noise. The jealous ones. The critics. The spectators. I stopped trying to win over people committed to misunderstanding me. Instead, I leaned into authenticity. I focused on the work. And in doing so, I found a community not defined by competition, but by contribution.
If This Is You, Keep Burning
If you’re someone who feels the weight of judgment when you try to rise — keep burning.
If people around you seem more comfortable with your potential than your progress — keep burning.
If you’ve lost friends, allies, or even family because you dared to dream bigger — keep burning.
Because your fire is not just yours. It lights the path for others. It inspires, warms, and awakens. And eventually, it attracts those who carry their own flames — people who’ve been searching for a fire like yours.
But you’ll never find them if you keep dimming your light for people who were never meant to walk beside you.
Final Thought
There’s a sacred power in fire. It can destroy, yes — but it can also purify, transform, and create. Your dreams, your drive, your energy — that’s your fire. And you don’t owe it to anyone to make it smaller just so they feel bigger.
Some will try to blow it out. That’s inevitable. But others — the ones that matter — will show up with a candle in hand. And when you find them, you’ll realise: you were never too much — you were just surrounded by people who couldn’t handle light.
So burn, boldly. Burn for your future. Burn for your truth. Burn for every version of you that was once told to “settle down” or “play safe.” Because your tribe isn’t found in the shadows.
It’s found in the flame.