You can make major changes in your life with minor changes in your thinking and behavior. To understand how this works, consider the three Rs model: “Reality plus response equals result.” Say that one of your colleagues criticises your work (that’s reality). Your response creates a particular result. If you ask your colleague why he or she feels that way and how you should adjust, your query may lead to helpful feedback (result number one). If you respond with anger, you may turn your colleague into an enemy (result number two). The result you want should govern your response.
To put this model to work, follow three rules:
1. “Results” – Determine the result you want by using your “capacity of intention.” Precisely specify your goal before formulating your response.
2. “Reality” – Confront your reality by embracing your “capacity for awareness.” Choose the most appropriate response by thinking about, for example, the motivation behind your colleague’s feedback. Was it to embarrass you or to offer constructive guidance? To achieve breakthroughs, seek out, investigate and review any hiddenassumptions you might be making to ensure that your conclusions are accurate.
3. “Response” – Select a response that lets you get the result you seek. Your knowhow can help. Review your knowledge base; for instance, perhaps you once attended a workshop on how to handle feedback and learned alternative ways to respond. Put them to use.